A really evil person sent me a good vibration the other day. I did not realize that he had such a bad vibe when I first saw him smiling at me and nodding his head to say hello. People around here are generally very friendly and strangers often say hello to me. He had a friendly expression that I connected with just before I realized he looked like a narco paramilitary with a bald head, long beard and was covered in tattoos up to his neck. Maybe it is just his style, I thought. Then I saw he was towing a crashed Volvo. Then I knew he must be a narco because who else in this part of Mexico could have a Volvo? I have never seen a Volvo around here. Also, there never used to be any men around here that looked like that. Nowadays, they are more common. They do not always carry rifles but sometimes do.
Anyway, strange encounters….I just went on with my day. However, I began to have a terrible headache and felt some really evil energy enveloping me. It lasted into the night and I could not sleep. Apparently, there was not much to think about. I did not have any fear of this person or what he represented. It was truly remarkable that this person who had the mental energy of a killer could also have a friendly side. It was an interesting contradiction and an interesting encounter to tell my friends and family about, but not something that should be keeping me up at night.
When affected by strange energies that leave me sleepless I practice creative imagination, an exercise that I hope will activate the subconscious to touch and interpret these disturbing energies. If there is some insight then there is peace of mind. Comprehension helps to assimilate the meaning of why such an occurrence happened and what it means internally, in the psychic and spiritual dimensions. Such an event might seem random to the sensory-intellectual mind but may be something very significant if seen with intuition. An intuitive understanding of what has happened makes the mind straight as an arrow again and the headache disappears. I am not really meditating as i am lying down trying to sleep. I almost fall asleep but am interrupted by a quick and vivid dream image or an idea that flashes into my mind. It gives me a piece to the puzzle. I would rather fall asleep but I cannot and must play energetic detective and let the spirit work its mysteries out to the questioning mind. Therefore, I just lay awake waiting for intuition to fill in all of the gaps.
The last thoughts I had before sleeping were very meaningful and eventually helped me sleep. I remembered how recently I was invited to attend a child´s first communion ceremony in a local church. Like so many times in the past I scoffed at that old institution and recalled how I once said I would never step into a church but more often I would find really nice people and good vibes from Catholics. I just accepted it as a contradiction in life. This time was no different. News just broke out a few years ago about the Church´s murder of indigenous children in Canada that they had secretly buried. Tribal members were still waiting for an apology from the Pope. I do not know if they ever got it, but if they did it came far too late. I went into the church with those ideas fresh in my mind. However, there was a good vibration and the people seemed sincere. The priest´s sermon was on Christian forgiveness. He mentioned the recent violence and the terror that people were living through with all of the conflicts of the narco wars. He said that we must pray for even the wicked and misguided people as well. He was very sincere and I thought that to really be able to do that one must really have a high degree of inner peace and living wisdom. Most people were probably too terrified to be able to send compassion to the terrible. One must truly have a source of peace and love to make such prayers. Once again I was struck by this great contradiction. “Está cabrón, esa situación. Siempre encontrando las obras del Cabrón Divino.”
And as I lie awake I finally get my answer. Who knows who that narco who nodded at me is? Was he forced into conscription by the cartel? Was he just desperate and poor and made a bad choice by voluntarily joining. His cartel was able to get the support from our community because they were keeping out a much more ruthless and violent cartel from entering here. They never bothered the common people but the other cartel started to extort all of the local businesses. The “good” cartel told the locals that if they supported them they would keep out the “bad” cartel. The community accepted a parasitic relationship with the lesser evil. Maybe this death soldier was just happy to be at peace in a place where he did not, at least for the time being, have to kill people and wanted a respite of harmony with the local community? Who knows. This is such a crazy planet with such crazy people. Maybe even god is crazy. Yet there is love and forgiveness and healing in the universe. Could even a narco be touched by this? Who is to judge if we all come from the same essence? The only way I can remain an optimist is because there is obviously a spark of the divine in the human conscience. Upright individuals are always better than corrupt institutions whether it is a narco who wants a little peace or a priest who is a true and sincere Christian yet remains in a Catholic cartel.